The Malvern
Bowling Club

Christmas Cake Recipe

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Following is the “recipe” submitted to the December 1992 edition of the MBC newsletter by former member Glad Falconer.  No responsibility is taken by MBC for the outcome of this recipe.  Enjoy!  ?

Christmas Fruit Cake Recipe

You’ll need a cup of water, a cup of sugar, 4 large eggs, 2 cups of dried fruit, a cup of brown sugar, lemon juice, a teaspoon of baking soda, a teaspoon of salt, nuts and a bottle of whisky.

Check the whisky to check the quality.

Take a large bowl. Check the whisky again to be sure it is of the highest quality. Pour one level cup and drink. Repeat.

Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.

Add one spoontea of sugar and beat again.

Make sure the whisky is OK. Cry another tup. Turn off the mixer. Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chick in the cup of dried fruit. Mox on the turner. If the fruit gets stuck in the beaters, pry it loose with a drewscriber.

Sample the whisky again to check the tonsisticity. Next – sift 2 large cups of salt, or something. Who cares? Check the whisky.

Now – sift the lemon juice and straing your nuts. Add 1 babblespoon of drown sugar or whatever colour you can find. Wix mell. Grease the oven. Turn the cake pan to 350 gredees. Don’t forget to beat off the turner. Throw the bowl out the window. Check the whisky again. Go to bed.

Wohonny Jalker.