The Malvern
Bowling Club

The John Finemore Australia Day Birthday Awards 2020

Today is the day of The John Finemore Australia Day Birthday Awards. And they are

The Literary award.
Geraldine De Korte for the publication of her delightful book ‘A Little Bit of Bull’.
And in breaking news straight from the Frankfurt Book Fair, Geoff Mathers on the signing of a million dollar option for his book, My 5000 Bowl’s Aphorisms. Hoping not to break copyright I’m sharing some with you.
‘That’s a delicious bowl’ directed at Robyn Loh
‘If you do that you’ll take the cake’
‘Boney Arse’
‘I’m liking it’
‘That’s a Good Paddock’
‘That’s the country it’s coming from’
‘That’s a superb bowl’

Revealing sayings awards  goes to
Peck Tee, ‘Wicky, Wick’
Michael Pappas ‘JACK’
Denis ‘Be up there, and are we up? and how many down are we?
All skips to Denis, Don’t worry about that (in answer to the last question) just get in there.
All bowlers ‘it’s not drawing’
Neil Martin ‘just get second shot’
Denis(again). Every week.  ‘I’m not playing next week’.
At the beginning, middle and end of every season, ‘I’m not playing next year’.
During every match, ‘are we finished yet’.
To each treasurer, ‘don’t cash my membership cheque til Christmas‘.
Stuart. How far short am I? Great bowl, just a touch tighter’

Prior rowdy award winner, and champion let’s not tell the opposition or anyone anything.
Ron Scerri.

And the Oscars go to
Andy Pappas for cinematography.
Michael Pappas for costume design.

Best function idea goes to
Me, for wondering how I was going to cope with my return to Melbourne’s winter while sitting on the beach enjoying 47 degrees. So the best function is Christmas in August. Runner up,
Stuart for wine and Young Henry Beer Tasting.

And the Tom Cruise Cocktail award goes to
Winner John Murdoch, runners up John Finemore and Graeme.

Michelin Star Award goes to
Penny Gamble. Again and again Pen’s culinary delights delighted us time after time.
Runners up, Anita, Jill, Sue Swann, Anne and Ann, Rose, Wendy, Diana,

The Eddy Everywhere Award is a three way tie shared between Andy Smith(our inaugural winner), Andy Pappas and Stuart.

The Thoughtful member award goes to
Roger Morrisson for nominating Graeme Lee for a citizens award,
Runner up, Stuart for nominating John Finemore for a Higgins Community Service Award.

Well, there’s no one else so I’ll do it even though I don’t bowl award is strangely for the role of Secretary.
Winner Geraldine de Korte, this was a close decision but Geraldine’s complete indifference to sport and so lack of knowledge meant a steep learning curve for her. ‘So what’s pennant?‘ was my personal favourite.
Runner up. Fran Le Cornu.

The most beautifully named new granddaughter goes to Olga and Peter for Olympia

Best Reading Recommendations awards go to,
Margrit Murdoch, Diana Dougall, Olga, Janet and Wendy Mathers.

Best Film recommendations goes to Rohan, Sue Swann and the de Kortes.

Mr Lunchalot award goes to
Gregor, Rodger Kimpton, Dick Allen and David Knott.

Mrs Lunchalot award goes to
Winner, by a bowling green, Margrit Murdoch.
Runners up, most lady members, but June and Pen do their very best.

I’m sorry I said that award goes to Rodger Kimpton for,
As skip berating John Finemore ‘ can’t you b….. well see’.

Related to the above award is the MBC driver award( have you seen his car lately?)
John Finemore

Dedicated Umpire Award goes to
Suzanne Gibbs.

Renaming Award
Eddy, formally fast Eddy is now Upshot Eddy. Alias rowdy Eddy.
John Murdoch is now know as Clutch Murdoch. Clutch for those who don’t know is a medieval term possibly coined by the Jesuits to describe the one who does best under pressure. (Thanks Geoff for this information, but was it Jesuits or Baseball you referenced?)

Not the man he used to be award goes to

Determination and courage award,
Phin, on completing ‘ My year without Alcohol’. He has been approached by Geoff’s literary agent and we can expect exciting news shortly.

Encouragement of new bowlers award goes to
Joe Arrons, Roger Morrison, Rodger Kimpton, Stuart and all the inclusive members of MBC.

Keenest newish bowlers award
Jill and Malcolm McLean, Bunty, Olga and Peter Nowatschenko and Roger Morrison.

Having the most fun bowling,
Winner by a bowling green, Bunty,
Runners up
Bill Derbyshire, Sandy Knott,  Anita, Maurice, Neil and Nelson

Having the least fun bowling,
Deidre Finemore and Denis. Also Robyn, on the rare occasions when it’s cold and windy or hot and windy.

Winner of the keep cool and focused award,
Peter Nowatschenko,
Runners  up
Dick Allen, Gerald(not certain about the focus) and Wayne Martin

Winner of the stamp the feet award,
Gregor Dougall

The Best Wednesday night ever award
This was the farewell to the much loved Andy Barraclough. Many were involved in the organisation but the winner is,
Robyn Loh, who was the initial instigator
Runners up, Pen and Andy Pappas.
Truly a wonderful farewell.

And finally the  keenly contested ‘ The Worst Job in the Club Award’
And the nominations are
Stuart for President,
John Murdoch for sponsorship,
John Finemore for Functions and Bar,
Andy Smith for Maintenance,
Gregor and Olga for Treasurer,
And it’s a captain’s pick for the winner OLGA.
Runner ups John Finemore and Stuart.

Happy holiday,